Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize