he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
