I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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