I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
