i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
