how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
