i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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