btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
vagina is talking i cant
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize