I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
