yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
