Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
