If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize