Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
