I just cut my nipple shaving
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
