We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize