I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Farmville is her only friend.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
