Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
