note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
