Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
