Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
