a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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