my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
