i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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