i would punch a child for taco bell
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
