that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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