yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
