So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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