We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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