since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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