you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
