If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize