I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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