belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wanna bring you to show and tell
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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