So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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