Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
