i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
