I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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