well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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