dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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