You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
