Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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