I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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