seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
how drunk are you?
Several
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
