maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
