I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
