i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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