it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
