I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize