So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
