I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
