they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
