woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Randomize
