Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
