me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize