Do you still have your period?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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