when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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