I think I am morally bankrupt
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
