Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
