The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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