You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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