Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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