Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
