I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
